As you have possibly seen in my diary, I've been doing some deep thinking about my life. This hasn't been an extremely pleasant experience to go through but it was very necessary.

I've come to the realization that I did start to take the steps I needed to take for me to be my true self ... but then I stopped! One second I was taking small steps towards living the way I really wanted to and then the next I was back to sitting around waiting to just start living! I know this is not at all healthy for me, or anyone around me for that matter!

So, I'm now taking care of those things that have kept me hiding instead of going out and actually living so I have nothing to hide behind.

I'm going to the gym and loosing weight that I've need to shed for some time. I've been going for 3 months now and already lost 20 pounds! Yay!!!!!

However, the biggest thing that as kept me from venturing out more than anything has been my facial hair. It's been a source of a ton of anxiety for me for far too long. I've always been nervous about it possibly showing through the countless layers of makeup that I would wear. This caused me to just walk around on the edge of freaking out all the time worried that my "shadow" is going to show through! At the same time, I couldn't go anywhere and take a weekend trip because it would tear up my neck to shave that close for a couple of days in a row.

So now I'm doing something about that to! I've scheduled my first laser hair removal appointment! I'm very excited about finally doing this cause on my chart of "steps towards making my transition", this is a very big step!

One thing I don't need to tell you is that this is an expensive process. Which is why I'm asking my friends for help. I've already told some friends that instead of giving me something for my birthday, (which is coming up on Aug. 22nd), to please make a donation to my "Say Goodbye to Facial Hair Fund"! Not that I'm expecting anyone to get me anything but if they are, this would be such a valuable gift to me, more so than a material object.